With our latest cycle canceled we have toyed with the idea of leaving our current Dr and seeking out another one.
The problem is I am not happy with the Dr. now but then again I am not laying with MY feet in stirrups. DO I have a right to wanna switch as the NON-BIO mom ( a term I am starting to Loathe it already but sometimes I feel like NON - BIO makes me BIONIC somehow. Play on words maybe to make me feel better.
I like our Dr. she is like a Dr. Baily from Grey Anatomy but her bedside manner has changed a bit and she left M a message and it was very condescending at least I thought it was. The message she left completely threw me off and really left a sour taste in my mouth. Me seems impartial and not affected. She is like a Quaker man, non confrontational and such. After M and I discussed the Dr.'s message she gave a great spiel how she was going to say how she feels and tell the Doctor. I was convinced and she sounded great right after we heard the message but then she kinda looses her fizzle and by fizzle I mean passion and vigor to tell the Dr. how she feels.
The other issue is we have 2 vials of EL SPERMIES there and we are not sure how that works if we go to another Reproductive Endocrinologist. How the transfer from one facility to another. I will look in to that.
So, we are just waiting once again for Aunt Flow to arrive and then hopefully by then we will know M will know where and who she wants to go to.
Perhaps with infertility treatment they should give you free psych sessions- I think I could benefit from a few!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Heartstrings
Up until NOW this very moment I have been so excited to be on this baby making Journey.
I have read blog upon blog and sat in on chat room upon chat room listening and watching as other lesbian couples talk about the ups and downs. I understood this part. I read how people have been trying and trying for YEARS. Yes, I said years some 6 other 10 and some only 2years. I freak out on these numbers 10 years are you kidding me ? We barely have enough saved for 6months.
We tried to go the aggressive route this cycle. that means gonal-f and HCG trigger . Not cheap the gonal f which we requested instead of Follistem was CHEAPER with what our Nurse said was the same effect and results. Just a few hundred dollars cheaper. We shelled out the $1100 and ordered the meds from three different pharmacies to make sure we got the cheapest price for each. Hey, man at this point every 1/2 a cent counts!
So, we did injections nightly for about 14 days went to the RE yesterday and she said well, "it looks like the growth of the follicles has stopped" my heart sank. It literally dropped I felt it. Then she said we will cancel this cycle and you will trigger and start your period in 2 weeks.
Uhh... [MY THOUGHT PROCESS: if this was a movie scene the screen gets blurry and wavy] We had plans to go out of town for a month. Umm, we were supposed to be pregnant and wait what did you say canceled what about all the effing money we shelled out for meds and the IUI cycle. so now my jokes about my wife's expensive thighs is true but worth nothing !
Here is what we think - We think that Melanie was growing good sized follicles and on Thurs the follicules seem to have shrunk according to the numbers we inquired and were assured THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT and increase our injection dose to 150. Come Monday the Re tells us she is not responding to the medication. It was so annoying and heartbreaking and my heartstrings gave way a little. I was so disappointed but at what and whom? Then I got angry and real sad I actually cried. It was weird even for me. We think Melanie actually ovulated already and why the Dr did not get or see this I have no idea. It is Mad Science so I offered my concoction opinion to the Dr which I learned about in a chat/blog group. Why am I making suggestions to the Dr. isn't she the one who is supposed to tell us how to move forward? UGG.
SO now we wait for M to start her cycle all over again. Change our plans and once again do the waiting game and plan life around the Re visits.
P.S. friends and followers I will be moving this blog to the official twomomstrying blog on wordpress here is the link follow me there or bookmark it
I have read blog upon blog and sat in on chat room upon chat room listening and watching as other lesbian couples talk about the ups and downs. I understood this part. I read how people have been trying and trying for YEARS. Yes, I said years some 6 other 10 and some only 2years. I freak out on these numbers 10 years are you kidding me ? We barely have enough saved for 6months.
We tried to go the aggressive route this cycle. that means gonal-f and HCG trigger . Not cheap the gonal f which we requested instead of Follistem was CHEAPER with what our Nurse said was the same effect and results. Just a few hundred dollars cheaper. We shelled out the $1100 and ordered the meds from three different pharmacies to make sure we got the cheapest price for each. Hey, man at this point every 1/2 a cent counts!
So, we did injections nightly for about 14 days went to the RE yesterday and she said well, "it looks like the growth of the follicles has stopped" my heart sank. It literally dropped I felt it. Then she said we will cancel this cycle and you will trigger and start your period in 2 weeks.
Uhh... [MY THOUGHT PROCESS: if this was a movie scene the screen gets blurry and wavy] We had plans to go out of town for a month. Umm, we were supposed to be pregnant and wait what did you say canceled what about all the effing money we shelled out for meds and the IUI cycle. so now my jokes about my wife's expensive thighs is true but worth nothing !
Here is what we think - We think that Melanie was growing good sized follicles and on Thurs the follicules seem to have shrunk according to the numbers we inquired and were assured THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT and increase our injection dose to 150. Come Monday the Re tells us she is not responding to the medication. It was so annoying and heartbreaking and my heartstrings gave way a little. I was so disappointed but at what and whom? Then I got angry and real sad I actually cried. It was weird even for me. We think Melanie actually ovulated already and why the Dr did not get or see this I have no idea. It is Mad Science so I offered my concoction opinion to the Dr which I learned about in a chat/blog group. Why am I making suggestions to the Dr. isn't she the one who is supposed to tell us how to move forward? UGG.
SO now we wait for M to start her cycle all over again. Change our plans and once again do the waiting game and plan life around the Re visits.
P.S. friends and followers I will be moving this blog to the official twomomstrying blog on wordpress here is the link follow me there or bookmark it
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Crack Habit
I recently purchased M a 2 books on being vegetarian and pregnant. We have both been veg heads for 15plus years. People are amazed when I tell them this. I guess the assumption that vegetarians are skinny. They may be right but not when it comes to me. I'm a biggie and that is putting it nicely. Anyhow, we eat well clearly. Eggs and cheese are staple, yes we are vegetarians not vegans and we do eat fish. Fine if it make you feel better we are Pescetarian, fish eating vegetarians.
I was sure M would have to belly up and eat meat during pregnancy ( WE ARE NOT PREGNANT YET) but man I did not realize you can actually carry a baby and be a
In our tryin to conceive journey we have just decided to eat as if she were pregnant and eliminate soy as we ate a ton and well not sure how that interfered with her levels. Soy has estrogen.
Back to the books I bought and pretty much most of the pregnancy books go though categories and phases. Several books have a quit smoking while pregnant phase and then there are a few books that even go on to say and explain why you should quick your crack habit and or your LSD usage. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ! Chances are if one preggo needs to Kick her crack and or LSD habit then how likely is she to even read this book. Again, i was shocked that it was in the book. Certainly if someone was preggo and had a crack or LSD habit then they should be reading a different book and the likelyhood of them being a Crak/LSD user that happens to be a vegetarian .... COME ON ... really COME ON!
It really gets my goat when i see this because here we are two LOVING people who dote on one another trying to have a baby. Thought of and decided to make this baby thought a reality, wishing for it wanting it and tasting it so badly and yet no one bats an eye when a book is published saying it might be best of you kicked your Crack habit once you are pregnant.
So preggos out there and potential preggos please put the CRACK PIPE DOWN !
by the way fans and readers I am working on a better newer shinier blog its is still under construction but will soon be THE BLOG for all the BABY MAKING STUFF http://twomomstrying.wordpress.com/
you can keep reading here I'll tell you when I do the switcharoo!
I was sure M would have to belly up and eat meat during pregnancy ( WE ARE NOT PREGNANT YET) but man I did not realize you can actually carry a baby and be a
In our tryin to conceive journey we have just decided to eat as if she were pregnant and eliminate soy as we ate a ton and well not sure how that interfered with her levels. Soy has estrogen.
Back to the books I bought and pretty much most of the pregnancy books go though categories and phases. Several books have a quit smoking while pregnant phase and then there are a few books that even go on to say and explain why you should quick your crack habit and or your LSD usage. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ! Chances are if one preggo needs to Kick her crack and or LSD habit then how likely is she to even read this book. Again, i was shocked that it was in the book. Certainly if someone was preggo and had a crack or LSD habit then they should be reading a different book and the likelyhood of them being a Crak/LSD user that happens to be a vegetarian .... COME ON ... really COME ON!
It really gets my goat when i see this because here we are two LOVING people who dote on one another trying to have a baby. Thought of and decided to make this baby thought a reality, wishing for it wanting it and tasting it so badly and yet no one bats an eye when a book is published saying it might be best of you kicked your Crack habit once you are pregnant.
So preggos out there and potential preggos please put the CRACK PIPE DOWN !
by the way fans and readers I am working on a better newer shinier blog its is still under construction but will soon be THE BLOG for all the BABY MAKING STUFF http://twomomstrying.wordpress.com/
you can keep reading here I'll tell you when I do the switcharoo!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Egg on my mind!
YEAH BABY.. been doing these injection of Gonal F - Ok, I have been giving these injections of Gonal F to the Mrs. and we went to our Reproductive Endocrinologist for the dildo inside thing (vaginal ultrasound) and woo hoo .. We got Eggs !
We have half a dozen eggs! They are small but we are just at Cycle day 8
so this means the injections are working as we normal on clomid have 1 or 2.
The wait in the office to get in to see the RE was really long a lot longer than usual and they kept apologizing. I was annoyed but I got over it and M as always chillaxed. I notice while I was waiting and trying to not bounce off the walls or fall asleep there were several women in the office whom had the GREEN wrist band. We know this Green wrist band is for IUI's to be performed in our case its matches M up with her SPERM and I suppose a Wife up with her Husbands swimmer for the Heteros. Oddly the three women whom I notice with Wrist bands were all alone. Whats is the deal with the partner and or husband not coming .. OKAY, they could be doing the single mom thing but what are the chances of 3 women for IUI and all single? What up with that. Its just weird that husbands don't seem to have a role here and I think they should!
Ever since we have been back from the Re's we have been Cracking jokes (HA) and making egg yolks all day long !
We have half a dozen eggs! They are small but we are just at Cycle day 8
so this means the injections are working as we normal on clomid have 1 or 2.
The wait in the office to get in to see the RE was really long a lot longer than usual and they kept apologizing. I was annoyed but I got over it and M as always chillaxed. I notice while I was waiting and trying to not bounce off the walls or fall asleep there were several women in the office whom had the GREEN wrist band. We know this Green wrist band is for IUI's to be performed in our case its matches M up with her SPERM and I suppose a Wife up with her Husbands swimmer for the Heteros. Oddly the three women whom I notice with Wrist bands were all alone. Whats is the deal with the partner and or husband not coming .. OKAY, they could be doing the single mom thing but what are the chances of 3 women for IUI and all single? What up with that. Its just weird that husbands don't seem to have a role here and I think they should!
Ever since we have been back from the Re's we have been Cracking jokes (HA) and making egg yolks all day long !
Friday, May 14, 2010
Ask for Everything
All of our medication came in. It's crazy how they send this stuff and how they give it to you. Our house is starting to look like a pharmacy. Pill bottles and syringes and sharps containers Its amazing!
We saw our RE last week, we have not been there in a Month. M had her blood drawn and they did an ultrasound and we forked over this cycles payment. UGGG.. it will all be worth it I know !
We started doing the Gonal F injections on Saturday in the evening. The Dr advised us to use the side of M's thigh towards the rear? I thought this a lil odd .. but she said its better for absorption. Its a subcutaneous injection so I suppose between the two muscle is a fatty area? Damn I should go back to school and get my RN or Phlebotomy Lic.
We went to L.A. to hang with My mom for mothers day
(a real quick trip) so we loaded up the cooler with ice packs and the medication. It needs to be refrigerated.
I was also very adamant about getting what samples and kick backs I could from our Dr. Our Prenatals are RX by the Dr and super expensive so I asked for samples. I also wrote to the company of the prenatal and they told me our Dr should have a discount card. I mentioned it and they kinda just looked at me and then gave us the card.
M is a quieter type and will just go with flow and does not like to be pushy. I say EFF that We are paying a crap load and were doing most of the leg work. SO MY WORDS OF WISDOM... ASK FOR EVERYTHING! I notice while the nurse was looking for the samples to give us in the giant cabinet that has everything there were 3 Boxes of Follistim Pens and Crinone gel (if there is a next time I will take advantage of that stuff for sure)
SO friends again .. DONT BE SHY! ASK and TAKE !
so yay for us we are on our 3rd try and feel great about it and just as excited as try 1 and 2 !!!
We saw our RE last week, we have not been there in a Month. M had her blood drawn and they did an ultrasound and we forked over this cycles payment. UGGG.. it will all be worth it I know !
We started doing the Gonal F injections on Saturday in the evening. The Dr advised us to use the side of M's thigh towards the rear? I thought this a lil odd .. but she said its better for absorption. Its a subcutaneous injection so I suppose between the two muscle is a fatty area? Damn I should go back to school and get my RN or Phlebotomy Lic.
We went to L.A. to hang with My mom for mothers day
(a real quick trip) so we loaded up the cooler with ice packs and the medication. It needs to be refrigerated.
I was also very adamant about getting what samples and kick backs I could from our Dr. Our Prenatals are RX by the Dr and super expensive so I asked for samples. I also wrote to the company of the prenatal and they told me our Dr should have a discount card. I mentioned it and they kinda just looked at me and then gave us the card.
M is a quieter type and will just go with flow and does not like to be pushy. I say EFF that We are paying a crap load and were doing most of the leg work. SO MY WORDS OF WISDOM... ASK FOR EVERYTHING! I notice while the nurse was looking for the samples to give us in the giant cabinet that has everything there were 3 Boxes of Follistim Pens and Crinone gel (if there is a next time I will take advantage of that stuff for sure)
SO friends again .. DONT BE SHY! ASK and TAKE !
so yay for us we are on our 3rd try and feel great about it and just as excited as try 1 and 2 !!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Mother's Day and Medication
We seem to always have a quick jaunt to So. Cal from NV when we are in the middle of our trying to conceive sessions. Its seems that right before our cycle day 3 or right after our two week wait we have a trip planned. Bad Timing? I don't know - just our luck maybe we have plans cuz we rarely have things to do but when we make plans seems everything happens. This Mother's day was no exception.
We were not planing on going and when I let my dad know via a phone conversation he kinda gave me a GUILT TRIP. Keep in mind I have not missed my Mothers Mothers day brunch in years! I felt bad but M was gonna be on cycle day 3 on Saturday and to drive out to So. Cal Saturday night and then return Sunday is/was ridiculous. My Dad even questioned me about our Saturday RE visit. He said, "and the Dr's office is open on Saturday to see M?" I laughed and said yes in this business there is someone on call but we also have lots of medicine we need to keep refrigerated. His response to that was, "well Pack a cooler". I felt so bad when I hung up the phone and told M we had to go even if for a night. Luckily, the RE saw her on Friday and we left later that evening. So we packed up for Mother's Day and the Medication.
Mother's Day was a nice Brunch my mom and her friends and then my Sabta. Usually the same every year. This year I told my moms friends who have Sons in college how they should encourage their sons to donate and how Jewish sperm is hard to come by and how much money they can get paid .. It was very comical and I am not bashful.
Hopefully, a few So. Cal sperms banks will get a few new Donors !!!
On Saturday night there at my parents house we gave M her first injection of Gonal F and it always so entertaining cuz she gets giddy and has a nervous laugh and has to get a pillow to cover her head.. My dad even helped us cuz he has a pen injectable of some diabetic med he takes. Its just funny - she hates needles... but her reaction is HYSTERICAL and not like a typical afraid reaction.
Now that I am on this quest to be a Mother - Mother's day had a different connotation to me . I celebrated with all these wonderful Moms mine included and I felt the yearning and longing being that we are working on Project Baby !!!
It did not hit me until I posted the following on Facebook and My aunt responded which brought me to TEARS ! I was getting in bed and jumped on line and saw her reply.
I posted the following,
and then I read my Aunts reply and tears fell from my eyes. Her reply was,
Just re typing this and re reading makes me choke. I can only hope !
We were not planing on going and when I let my dad know via a phone conversation he kinda gave me a GUILT TRIP. Keep in mind I have not missed my Mothers Mothers day brunch in years! I felt bad but M was gonna be on cycle day 3 on Saturday and to drive out to So. Cal Saturday night and then return Sunday is/was ridiculous. My Dad even questioned me about our Saturday RE visit. He said, "and the Dr's office is open on Saturday to see M?" I laughed and said yes in this business there is someone on call but we also have lots of medicine we need to keep refrigerated. His response to that was, "well Pack a cooler". I felt so bad when I hung up the phone and told M we had to go even if for a night. Luckily, the RE saw her on Friday and we left later that evening. So we packed up for Mother's Day and the Medication.
Mother's Day was a nice Brunch my mom and her friends and then my Sabta. Usually the same every year. This year I told my moms friends who have Sons in college how they should encourage their sons to donate and how Jewish sperm is hard to come by and how much money they can get paid .. It was very comical and I am not bashful.
Hopefully, a few So. Cal sperms banks will get a few new Donors !!!
On Saturday night there at my parents house we gave M her first injection of Gonal F and it always so entertaining cuz she gets giddy and has a nervous laugh and has to get a pillow to cover her head.. My dad even helped us cuz he has a pen injectable of some diabetic med he takes. Its just funny - she hates needles... but her reaction is HYSTERICAL and not like a typical afraid reaction.
Now that I am on this quest to be a Mother - Mother's day had a different connotation to me . I celebrated with all these wonderful Moms mine included and I felt the yearning and longing being that we are working on Project Baby !!!
It did not hit me until I posted the following on Facebook and My aunt responded which brought me to TEARS ! I was getting in bed and jumped on line and saw her reply.
I posted the following,
"Happy Mother's Day to all the MAMAS out there
!!!! I can only aspire to be just like you - someday !"
and then I read my Aunts reply and tears fell from my eyes. Her reply was,
"You will be...".
Just re typing this and re reading makes me choke. I can only hope !
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Injectables
Yes, moving forward. We received a call from the grievance department from our DELIGHTFUL health insurance. They now tell us it will be 30 days for our grievance to be filed and decided. Then my wife's says to the woman on the phone,
So, we decide to forgo trying to have our DELIGHTFUL insurance co cover the medication for this cycle. We paid out of pocket (DONT EVEN ASK ITS A LOT). medication was ordered. M called just about every fertility pharmacy to determine who has what prices and who is the best price ... I was proud as it was just like a (enter my last name if you know it) way. SO all of her meds are coming from different pharmacies.
We received a knock at the door and low and behold its our FEDEX driver who happens to be a Lesbian ( M thinks so) and she gives us the box with all our INJECTABLES inside. I love the word injectable... everything is on ice and it came with its own sharp container. I was impressed. My dad has injections he needs and he did not even get a container but I guess if your paying (insert large amount here ... No a little higher than that) then you deserve a sharp container.
We are getting ready to start as soon as M hits Cycle Day 3, which should be any day now as she took her last birth control pill on Monday and well her own body is ready according to her and her PMS. Hopefully third time is a charm cuz were ready to get this baby started!
I will also add I am excited to giver her these injectables. I am a bit sad they come in pen form and are pretty much self contained. Originally the medication would have been in a vial with a syringe that I would have to draw up ( you know I love medical stuff) I guess the pen will have to suffice!
I don't know what the side effects are or what kind of hormonal change will occur. I do know that M's PMS tends to be of the hellacious kind and I do not wish that on anyone. WOAH ... WATCH OUT !
"I DON'T HAVE 30 DAYS ... I AM ABOUT TO BLEED"and I finish the statement off quietly with BITCH. M has been on Birth control pills for almost the entire month and we were supposed to trick her system in to giving her a second period but since the medication/insurance process became so lengthy she really did not need the birth control pills and well WOAH can you say PMS. She usually gets cramps and a little agitation but this is full on FULL METAL JACKET mood swings. okay, that may be my perspective ... but i have never seen her like THIS before.
So, we decide to forgo trying to have our DELIGHTFUL insurance co cover the medication for this cycle. We paid out of pocket (DONT EVEN ASK ITS A LOT). medication was ordered. M called just about every fertility pharmacy to determine who has what prices and who is the best price ... I was proud as it was just like a (enter my last name if you know it) way. SO all of her meds are coming from different pharmacies.
We received a knock at the door and low and behold its our FEDEX driver who happens to be a Lesbian ( M thinks so) and she gives us the box with all our INJECTABLES inside. I love the word injectable... everything is on ice and it came with its own sharp container. I was impressed. My dad has injections he needs and he did not even get a container but I guess if your paying (insert large amount here ... No a little higher than that) then you deserve a sharp container.
We are getting ready to start as soon as M hits Cycle Day 3, which should be any day now as she took her last birth control pill on Monday and well her own body is ready according to her and her PMS. Hopefully third time is a charm cuz were ready to get this baby started!
I will also add I am excited to giver her these injectables. I am a bit sad they come in pen form and are pretty much self contained. Originally the medication would have been in a vial with a syringe that I would have to draw up ( you know I love medical stuff) I guess the pen will have to suffice!
I don't know what the side effects are or what kind of hormonal change will occur. I do know that M's PMS tends to be of the hellacious kind and I do not wish that on anyone. WOAH ... WATCH OUT !
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