Heartstrings

Up until NOW this very moment I have been so excited to be on this baby making Journey.

I have read blog upon blog and sat in on chat room upon chat room listening and watching as other lesbian couples talk about the ups and downs. I understood this part. I read how people have been trying and trying for YEARS. Yes, I said years some 6 other 10 and some only 2years. I freak out on these numbers 10 years are you kidding me ? We barely have enough saved for 6months.

We tried to go the aggressive route this cycle. that means gonal-f and HCG trigger . Not cheap the gonal f which we requested instead of Follistem was CHEAPER with what our Nurse said was the same effect and results. Just a few hundred dollars cheaper. We shelled out the $1100 and ordered the meds from three different pharmacies to make sure we got the cheapest price for each. Hey, man at this point every 1/2 a cent counts!

So, we did injections nightly for about 14 days went to the RE yesterday and she said well, "it looks like the growth of the follicles has stopped" my heart sank. It literally dropped I felt it. Then she said we will cancel this cycle and you will trigger and start your period in 2 weeks.

Uhh... [MY THOUGHT PROCESS: if this was a movie scene the screen gets blurry and wavy] We had plans to go out of town for a month. Umm, we were supposed to be pregnant and wait what did you say canceled what about all the effing money we shelled out for meds and the IUI cycle. so now my jokes about my wife's expensive thighs is true but worth nothing !

Here is what we think - We think that Melanie was growing good sized follicles and on Thurs the follicules seem to have shrunk according to the numbers we inquired and were assured THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT and increase our injection dose to 150. Come Monday the Re tells us she is not responding to the medication. It was so annoying and heartbreaking and my heartstrings gave way a little. I was so disappointed but at what and whom? Then I got angry and real sad I actually cried. It was weird even for me. We think Melanie actually ovulated already and why the Dr did not get or see this I have no idea. It is Mad Science so I offered my concoction opinion to the Dr which I learned about in a chat/blog group. Why am I making suggestions to the Dr. isn't she the one who is supposed to tell us how to move forward? UGG.

SO now we wait for M to start her cycle all over again. Change our plans and once again do the waiting game and plan life around the Re visits.


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