Sorry for the late blog again,
I am just not feeling myself these days. I no longer have an ear infection but i have very very clogged ears as if I am on a plane that keeps landing and taking off. I feel like if I tild my hear to teh right that a whatever is in my ear will fall out. I went to a ENT 2 times now checked my hearing which he says is phenomenal. When your in a small box that is sound proof of course you can hear everything.
Anyhow, I am lil dizzy and have headaches and he says that my ear will have to drain on its own. I wonder sucky Nevada Health Care or The Dr is right?
I made another appointment first week of march so if its not unclogged by then he better do something. If i dont drain it myself. A sharp needle? There should be a website that is dedicated to at home procedures so people dont have to worry about expensive cost and medical bills or no insurance. I would be game.
Well, Project Baby is still going frustrating also. We have to wait for that perfect moment and hope it does not get missed and M went today for a hormone check again. Hurry up and WAIT ... we have been doing a lot of that !
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
My mothers other daughter
Like i mentioned in previous post. I have sort of kind of been "chatting" with my estranged sister. We have not really spoke in about 4 years this Jan.
How we came to chat (it was actually e-mail) we are e-mailing. Of course our mother had something to do with this. The middle man... She always took bits and pieces of our lives and stories to each of our families. The conversation would sound something like this, "I know you don't care or wanna hear about it but, your sister.."
and this is how we were kept in the loop with one another but not ever talking.
My sister did a really really hurtful thing and the "I'm better than you attitude" is really obnoxious. She was more of a hazard to me than any good and why should I have kept someone in my life who was always belittling me and degrading. I would have to think more than twice if i was going to say something and walking on egg shells- being judged really sucks and quite frankly, she did a lot of very hurtful things. She never really did apologize.. she called to say she was calling to apologize but never said she was sorry or even what she was apologizing for?
Anyhow, I am not trying to rekindle the relationship. I have come to terms with being an elective single child. I know your thinking how can you say that and blood blah blah blah .. but it been 4 years and we were never NEVER close and this I remember from when I was very little.
I think its really funny how we have been E-mailing for a few days ( my responses are much longer and more in depth that hers) and all of the sudden she just invites me to visit her in another state for her sons bris. Yes, it was very awkward to me and I'm sure if I go I would feel some sort of animosity or something because nothing has really been resolved but because we are hopefully going to both be mothers (if This Project Baby ever comes to a head) that I should arrive at the the bris and we are act like best friends. (well, that's what I think in my head and only because I have an ideology of the Preis clan which is a real sisterhood and what I would want if I ever had a sister.)
I'm ok with e-mailing her for now and certainly keeping her at bay but not sure if I will ever consider her to be my sister. She certainly fell short of what I think a sister should be and we are really on opposite sides of the spectrum with nothing, NOTHING in common. She is uber republican probably staunch, high-falooten and will step on and over whom she can to get to where she needs to go. and... well i need something more than this, I need someone who's got heart and a soul.
It really does amaze me that we were even birthed from the same parents and were housed in the same womb and have the similar genetic makeup and we are EXTREMELY different.
So, I will keep e-mailing because that is who I am but and i will toss my expectations to the side to protect myself from getting hurt or being disappointed.
How we came to chat (it was actually e-mail) we are e-mailing. Of course our mother had something to do with this. The middle man... She always took bits and pieces of our lives and stories to each of our families. The conversation would sound something like this, "I know you don't care or wanna hear about it but, your sister.."
and this is how we were kept in the loop with one another but not ever talking.
My sister did a really really hurtful thing and the "I'm better than you attitude" is really obnoxious. She was more of a hazard to me than any good and why should I have kept someone in my life who was always belittling me and degrading. I would have to think more than twice if i was going to say something and walking on egg shells- being judged really sucks and quite frankly, she did a lot of very hurtful things. She never really did apologize.. she called to say she was calling to apologize but never said she was sorry or even what she was apologizing for?
Anyhow, I am not trying to rekindle the relationship. I have come to terms with being an elective single child. I know your thinking how can you say that and blood blah blah blah .. but it been 4 years and we were never NEVER close and this I remember from when I was very little.
I think its really funny how we have been E-mailing for a few days ( my responses are much longer and more in depth that hers) and all of the sudden she just invites me to visit her in another state for her sons bris. Yes, it was very awkward to me and I'm sure if I go I would feel some sort of animosity or something because nothing has really been resolved but because we are hopefully going to both be mothers (if This Project Baby ever comes to a head) that I should arrive at the the bris and we are act like best friends. (well, that's what I think in my head and only because I have an ideology of the Preis clan which is a real sisterhood and what I would want if I ever had a sister.)
I'm ok with e-mailing her for now and certainly keeping her at bay but not sure if I will ever consider her to be my sister. She certainly fell short of what I think a sister should be and we are really on opposite sides of the spectrum with nothing, NOTHING in common. She is uber republican probably staunch, high-falooten and will step on and over whom she can to get to where she needs to go. and... well i need something more than this, I need someone who's got heart and a soul.
It really does amaze me that we were even birthed from the same parents and were housed in the same womb and have the similar genetic makeup and we are EXTREMELY different.
So, I will keep e-mailing because that is who I am but and i will toss my expectations to the side to protect myself from getting hurt or being disappointed.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Injected
Sorry for the late blog- Ack I am really not myself these days.
Well, at 9:00 pm yesterday I gave M a injection also known as a trigger. Its is similar to a Hcg surge. This "trigger" will trigger her ovaries to release the matured ovum so we can do an insemination.
I have taken a medical assisting course and a phlebotomy course so giving an injection was no biggie for me. It has been a while but whats the big deal. However, M who is the biggest whimp when it comes to needles or the sheer smell of rubbing alcohol. It's kinda cute. Anyhow, I watched a video on a website for this particular medication and the nurse at the fertility clinic also gave me a quick review. Clear air bubble, prime the syringe (make it so a drop comes out of needle prior to injection) did it all. This injection is a subcutaneous ( shorter needle that gets injected in to the first few layers of skin the cutaneous layers and NOT IN muscle.) I'm in position i am ready ( its like playing darts a lil you just dont let go) and them M starts laughing hysterically. I mean hysterically, so now I am holding this uber expensive medication in a syringe mind you and we are cracking up. I have no idea why .. I think for her it was a nervous laugh maybe and I was just laughing cuz she though it was so funny. Then she wanted to cover her head with a blanket so she would not see me do it but then kept laughing and saying, "wait, wait, wait," it was quite comical then i thought i shoudl just do it while she is laughing except she was moving so much. We finally both calmed down and i stuck her. She ask, "did you do it already" and as I withdrew the needle i say No not yet. Her response was, "wow, I did not feel it" and then of course a few second pass and she starts saying it hurts and burns.
Now we wait for the next step. Insemination. We have been keeping everyone in the loop thus far but then we realized if we tell people about the swimmers and when we do insemination then people may ask us ... Are you pregnant? and that can be detrimental and stressful. So we will not tell anyone when we inseminate. I hope I can keep my mouth shut .. I like to be open about things and quite frankly, I am not a good liar or fibber.
But we are so excited and Giddy ... M went and has 2 massages this week to relax her she has a free card/subscription an has several hours saved up and if we do get pregnant she can not have a massage for 5 weeks. We have been eating all the things she will not be able to eat if she becomes pregnant. Blue cheese, big fish, chocolate.
I am not a big faith person but this clearly is out of my hands and what-ifs do not belong here right now so Its all about faith now. Crazy how that works. I am hopeful. This has been an amazing experience.
See you on Tuesday !
Well, at 9:00 pm yesterday I gave M a injection also known as a trigger. Its is similar to a Hcg surge. This "trigger" will trigger her ovaries to release the matured ovum so we can do an insemination.
I have taken a medical assisting course and a phlebotomy course so giving an injection was no biggie for me. It has been a while but whats the big deal. However, M who is the biggest whimp when it comes to needles or the sheer smell of rubbing alcohol. It's kinda cute. Anyhow, I watched a video on a website for this particular medication and the nurse at the fertility clinic also gave me a quick review. Clear air bubble, prime the syringe (make it so a drop comes out of needle prior to injection) did it all. This injection is a subcutaneous ( shorter needle that gets injected in to the first few layers of skin the cutaneous layers and NOT IN muscle.) I'm in position i am ready ( its like playing darts a lil you just dont let go) and them M starts laughing hysterically. I mean hysterically, so now I am holding this uber expensive medication in a syringe mind you and we are cracking up. I have no idea why .. I think for her it was a nervous laugh maybe and I was just laughing cuz she though it was so funny. Then she wanted to cover her head with a blanket so she would not see me do it but then kept laughing and saying, "wait, wait, wait," it was quite comical then i thought i shoudl just do it while she is laughing except she was moving so much. We finally both calmed down and i stuck her. She ask, "did you do it already" and as I withdrew the needle i say No not yet. Her response was, "wow, I did not feel it" and then of course a few second pass and she starts saying it hurts and burns.
Now we wait for the next step. Insemination. We have been keeping everyone in the loop thus far but then we realized if we tell people about the swimmers and when we do insemination then people may ask us ... Are you pregnant? and that can be detrimental and stressful. So we will not tell anyone when we inseminate. I hope I can keep my mouth shut .. I like to be open about things and quite frankly, I am not a good liar or fibber.
But we are so excited and Giddy ... M went and has 2 massages this week to relax her she has a free card/subscription an has several hours saved up and if we do get pregnant she can not have a massage for 5 weeks. We have been eating all the things she will not be able to eat if she becomes pregnant. Blue cheese, big fish, chocolate.
I am not a big faith person but this clearly is out of my hands and what-ifs do not belong here right now so Its all about faith now. Crazy how that works. I am hopeful. This has been an amazing experience.
See you on Tuesday !
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
OVUM 17mm
I apologize for my lack or blog posts last Thursday. I have been dealing with a middle ear infection. Oy, if its not one thing its another. My uncle would say I am am complaining or playing the victim or woes me. I dont want sympathy- I have a ear infection in my middle ear and went to a ENT he did a procedure and well i have to go back in 2 weeks even after taking some crazy steroids. Whatever, this is why we pay an arm and leg for health insurance.
So last Thursday we went to the Dr and were sure she was going to tell us to trigger and then come back on Sat for insemination. Sadly, she didn't. She gave M a ultrasound I think i have been saying sonograms (i am/was wrong). She checked out M's ovaries and the one we can barely see that is hiding behind her uterus is the one producing. It has eggs but they were very small so we have to wait. The Eggs were measuring 10mm and the RE wants them at 20mm to inseminate. So they drew M's blood wich is a feat and a half as she has horrible veins and really no one can draw blood from her. She says she has collapsing veins and I think she has roll away ones. Either way they stick her a lot.
Our RE told us to come back on Monday ( yesterday ) so we did. She did another ultrasound and wow amazing the very difficult egg was measuring at a 17mm. They directed us to do a trigger injection on Wednesday at 9pm in the abdomen or thigh and then we go back on Friday for the insemination. I am so giddy, excited and freaked out. I will post things as they come. M is really worried about the injection but it will be fine. Project Baby is well on its way !
So last Thursday we went to the Dr and were sure she was going to tell us to trigger and then come back on Sat for insemination. Sadly, she didn't. She gave M a ultrasound I think i have been saying sonograms (i am/was wrong). She checked out M's ovaries and the one we can barely see that is hiding behind her uterus is the one producing. It has eggs but they were very small so we have to wait. The Eggs were measuring 10mm and the RE wants them at 20mm to inseminate. So they drew M's blood wich is a feat and a half as she has horrible veins and really no one can draw blood from her. She says she has collapsing veins and I think she has roll away ones. Either way they stick her a lot.
Our RE told us to come back on Monday ( yesterday ) so we did. She did another ultrasound and wow amazing the very difficult egg was measuring at a 17mm. They directed us to do a trigger injection on Wednesday at 9pm in the abdomen or thigh and then we go back on Friday for the insemination. I am so giddy, excited and freaked out. I will post things as they come. M is really worried about the injection but it will be fine. Project Baby is well on its way !
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sorry !
Sorry I have not been feeling well still with this inner and outter ear infection I am seeing a ENT now .. But we are going to Fertility place this AM so Keep your fingers crossed!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Outta my mind... outta my hands
I believe this week will be a very big week for us. Insemination is near. M finally finished her clomid and then we go back Thur for a quick sonogram to see EL Eggies! That visit will determine the exact day we inseminate. I am so excited and very scared. Actually I am going outta my mind. Thinking all kinds of things and then I realize that its out of my hands and this I think is the scary part er.. I dunno what part is scary. I do know that I get super excited and all giddy then I get super cautious like my super excited-ness is a bad thing? Weird. Emotional for sure. Then the what if's come ... I am able to seduce them back into the ground where they shall stay. I feel really hopeful though and so for that I say YAHOO!
I believe that M feels the same way. I think her and the hormone medication have come to an understanding. Seems her side effects have lessened. Boy does Thursday seem like a long time from now or what.
I am trying to ask everyone as many questions as possible about everything I can. Like i said outta my mind! Oddly, I have even kinda been e-mailing back n forth with my sister. I know, I know that's huge (well kinda)- Actually to me its not big deal and that is how it shall stay but I need to update you all on it so I guess eventually I'll write about that
This Project Baby is just so big right now that its really is what is taking precedence and priority I cant really deal with the feelings I have about e-mailing my sister.
I believe that M feels the same way. I think her and the hormone medication have come to an understanding. Seems her side effects have lessened. Boy does Thursday seem like a long time from now or what.
I am trying to ask everyone as many questions as possible about everything I can. Like i said outta my mind! Oddly, I have even kinda been e-mailing back n forth with my sister. I know, I know that's huge (well kinda)- Actually to me its not big deal and that is how it shall stay but I need to update you all on it so I guess eventually I'll write about that
This Project Baby is just so big right now that its really is what is taking precedence and priority I cant really deal with the feelings I have about e-mailing my sister.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Swimmers have arrived
I have tried to take a very medical approach to this whole insemination /fertility things. However it seems so clinical to me. We trying to get this baby started! Looks like we are in luck. M called the RE and told them she stopped taking the Provera and has yet to have a period. They were like well you will prolly not be bleeding much because you had the surgery a 3 weeks ago (yesterday and well they cleaned everything out in the Curettage so nothing to shed.)
The Re checked my wife's uterus and and eggs said everything looked great. Cervice dilation still a success.
We received a prescription for Clomid they gave us a voucher for 3 free fills (NICE) and then we go back on Thursday for another ultrasound! They are going to prescribe us with a trigger injectable. M is freaking out hates needles and such the mere smell of rubbing alcohol makes her wanna pass out. I'll do it for her (its about time my phlebotomy and Medial schooling come in handy)
If all goes according to plan we will hopefully inseminate Valentines day weekend. The irony in that and oh the romanticism.
I am so excite giddy really... moving forward. However, that comes with the detrimental thoughts of what if it does not stick ! We have to be positive ..OKAY .. and we are for the most part. Ahhh.. so I am gonna wait on my wife's every whim and be super duper nice try not to upset her. These hormones are killing me i can only imagine what they are doing to her.
I think when prescriptions come with side effect warning that the person taking the pill shoudl not know about them. The mere power of suggestion can cause things to go berserk!
The Re checked my wife's uterus and and eggs said everything looked great. Cervice dilation still a success.
We received a prescription for Clomid they gave us a voucher for 3 free fills (NICE) and then we go back on Thursday for another ultrasound! They are going to prescribe us with a trigger injectable. M is freaking out hates needles and such the mere smell of rubbing alcohol makes her wanna pass out. I'll do it for her (its about time my phlebotomy and Medial schooling come in handy)
If all goes according to plan we will hopefully inseminate Valentines day weekend. The irony in that and oh the romanticism.
I am so excite giddy really... moving forward. However, that comes with the detrimental thoughts of what if it does not stick ! We have to be positive ..OKAY .. and we are for the most part. Ahhh.. so I am gonna wait on my wife's every whim and be super duper nice try not to upset her. These hormones are killing me i can only imagine what they are doing to her.
I think when prescriptions come with side effect warning that the person taking the pill shoudl not know about them. The mere power of suggestion can cause things to go berserk!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Crimson River or Aunt Flow
I'm trying to think where I left off last. I know it's only been 6 days. Well M stopped taking the Provera Medication on Thursday. This Medicine was stopping her from getting her period. Her last day was Thursday and on Saturday she has some spotting. Woohoo I know right- So happy to see blood. She was still spotty on Sunday and well Monday not so much. Annoying! She and I have never been so excited and or anticipating a period so much in either one of our lives. We are on a constant cheer for "Aunt Flow" and waiting patiently for the "Crimson River".
Makes me realize how as teens when we got our period we are so naive and know so little of really whats going on. Perhaps if I knew now what I know about Menstruation and period and ovulation then I would be much more appreciative of "AUNT FLOW" and her monthly visits.
I keep trying to tell myself dont think about it, dont ask M about it cuz then it will never happen. Kinda like a watched pot never boils type of deal. Either than or one day soon M is just gonna start pouring blood like that poor Girl Carrie from that Horror movie. Sorry I cant help it The Project Baby is always on my mind. If I am not reading about things then I am deciding how to decorate and or going through a slough of other thoughts. I need the Jewish mysticism to kick in now. The Mysticism that tells you its a shandeh (shame in yiddish) to think about these things and talk about things.
Well, we are still waiting and now I find myself researching the wonderful web on how to induce a period naturally ! Ha-Ha
Makes me realize how as teens when we got our period we are so naive and know so little of really whats going on. Perhaps if I knew now what I know about Menstruation and period and ovulation then I would be much more appreciative of "AUNT FLOW" and her monthly visits.
I keep trying to tell myself dont think about it, dont ask M about it cuz then it will never happen. Kinda like a watched pot never boils type of deal. Either than or one day soon M is just gonna start pouring blood like that poor Girl Carrie from that Horror movie. Sorry I cant help it The Project Baby is always on my mind. If I am not reading about things then I am deciding how to decorate and or going through a slough of other thoughts. I need the Jewish mysticism to kick in now. The Mysticism that tells you its a shandeh (shame in yiddish) to think about these things and talk about things.
Well, we are still waiting and now I find myself researching the wonderful web on how to induce a period naturally ! Ha-Ha
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)