Party! ... Like were 80

WOAH .. so M and I though we would divert the Baby Making stress by volunteering our time to GAY PRIDE. There was a PRIDE Girls party at a bar here in Las Vegas and we volunteered our photography skills.

SO we went to this club and it was about 10pm (late for us ) and well M is very shy so I am always interested in how walking up to strangers and taking a photos will pan out for her. Me on the other hand I rarely have an issue... and Just walk up and say Hey, your looking good mind if we photograph you .. blah blah blah. Funny how I am self conscious but yet I can do things like that.

It was w bit slow at first people were shy, reserved and timid including Melanie. We mosied and walked around in circles. Our plan was I would ask/talk to the people and she would take the picture. It went well.

It picked up the later it got, atypical for clubs were ready to go home and call it quits and the scantily clad Go Go dancers show up. Boy did the party get started. Gyration Girls kissing .... We were partying now .. but we felt like we were 80 !

We aren't accustomed to being in bars where you can still smoke ? It was odd and well our bodies did not adjust so well. I felt as though I smoked 20 cigarettes and my close wreaked like I was trapped in a box filled with smoke and ash.

Insurance - love it and hate it !

Trying to conceive and the emotional roller coaster is one thing. One huge thing but never did anyone mention the tribulations with insurance.

Insurance, I believe it should be an oxy-moron. Again, the roller coaster of trying is a peice of cake in comparisson to having to deal with the insurance. Our insurance is supposed to cover a percentage of our fertility medication - This is the reason we chose this lovely company. Here we are now trying to get a pre-auth and an approval calling the pharmacy and then having the RE call us and then calling the Insurance company. A shit load of leg work, SHIT LOAD I SAY and why are we paying these people.

We know our insurance does not cover Artificial insemination and we were ok with that and understood it to mean that they will not pay for the IUI's and IVF.

We were told today that our Insurance the lovely company that they are does not permit/allow treatments for Artificial insemination and that includes just the medication apparently. The short story, is that a Hetero Couple that has fertility issues can get coverage if they do not need insemination help .... but if they do then they can not get coverage via insurance! Crazy I know ... so why cant our RE say that we are just need the medication and why disclose we are doing INSEMINATION.

M is getting upset by the whole insurance idea. I feel bad, but I am so proud that she had been dealing with this all on her own and doing the back n forth trying to coordinate.

Well the bottom line is while we are still financially able we will forage forward and try to conceivable. We have saved for it and will go through what we have to!

WE WON

SO while we have been trying to conceive we have also been trying to win products for our baby. We just won a cute amazing stroller. Now we just need said baby for the stroller!

Check out what we just got its from Baby Planet: Endangered Species Stroller
They bring consciousness to families and for every stroller sold they donate money to WWF foundation to help Endangered Species.

I hope this win sets forth some amazing Baby JUJU for us.

I just found out that a old friend of mine who is straight who was also trying just got her positive result. She had tried three cycles the old fashion way and so again .. I am hoping our third time is a charm. I was a little jealous at first but now i am over the moon for her. Its weird how that happens how we are trying and when we hear someone else is preggo this enormous amount of hate annoyance and ill feelings consumes us.

Other than this win not too much has been going on .. M is still on BC and will commence soon I think and we just wait for her cycle.

We have met with some new friends and have all decided that we need to figure out how to get a gay/lesbian parenting magazine. cuz its GAYby booming !

So happy baby making !

LAY AND WAIT

M has been on Birth control for a bit she has to take them for 10 days then we stop and do the injections. Its fun for me - she is a lil scared. Damn i shoudl have went on to get my RN .. I love medical stuff but i really have a tough time with Bureaucracy . I think its the reason many are so unhappy with their jobs!

We have joined a Lesbian/Gay group in town and have met some amazing people. There is one couple whom we are becoming close to and I just have to say ... BOY O BOY its so nice to be able to speak to someone about this about everything about us. They already have a baby a beautiful little boy who is a delight. I love shooting the shit with them because WE never really had anyone to compare notes with and DAMN ... OH DAMN its so wonderful and awe inspired!

There are just some Lesbian couples that have a different dynamic and even though we are all lesbians and gays there is a huge subculture with in the group. The Butch Femme dynamic the sporty/competitive lesbians, femme femme and it can go on for a while -. NOT THAT THESE LABELS OR DYNAMICS matter but its just hard for me and M to hang out and relate to sporty lesbian - we can but we just have a different/difference. Oh this must make me sound horrible ... i think most of you will get it but some may not ... JUST TRUST ME ... I am not really picky but its hard to relate no one is better than or less than we are all equal and just as family dynamics are culturally different so are lesbian couples. Anyhow I am trying to say I am really glad we have made and are making new friends!

We are still on the Baby Project ... waiting .. and waiting .. but we have had a 2 week break and we celebrated regrouped and re focused and we are ready to tackle the next cycle injections and all. I heard some great feedback about the injections we are getting and so I am excited not sure about M. So here is to looking forward and moving UP ... Pregnancy we are ready come take us !

Who knew!

I am very public about our trials and tribulations when it comes to Project Baby ! I am very vocal that we are 2 moms trying to conceive. I am so amazed when I tell people that we are trying to get pregnant and the process we have to go through. Then the person whom i am divulging this to usually a woman usually replies with her own struggles when she tried to have a baby. The majority of folks I am speaking to are straight and so they share their experience with me and it is SAD, but amazing that I have this camaraderie with them. Then I grasp what they are really saying ... the NO, shit your straight and have sperm at your disposal and it did not go as you planned look on my face! Who knew that straight people have just as much problems conceiving as us and they usually have all the mechanisms needed, full access to an unlimited amount of sperm. WHO KNEW!

I was discussing with my friend whom shared with me that she and her man were also trying and I was so delighted when she mentioned that she was thinking the same thing I was, which is that when we see a young teen that is pregnant we tend to think .. WHAT the .... she prolly did not even plan that and she prolly does not even whan it and here her and I are and we would practically do anything. I wont even write about the friends who are also trying and finally see success or say no we were not trying it just happened! They piss me off too but not in a bad pissed off why but a confused way.

Oddly, my friend and I are were a little envious of eachother prior to our marathon emailing. She was envious of us because she's thinking we have medical intervention so we are taking it down to the science of conception and I was thinking she has a live sperm donor who can donate at any time place and date and its free! Either way neither of us are pregnant yet but the comedy and tragedy in this Emotional Roller coaster is amazing and we both agreed Humbling !

I'm not a religious person and she may be more Godly than myself but she made a very valid point which was, "it is a miracle of God. not man, nor science can ensure it will happen." and well I am not sure about the miracle part but I know we have very little control even though we feel like we have to make a decision and choice about our process on a daily basis!

So, no matter if your are straight, gay or single and trying we all have our trials and tribulations and eventual success!

Happy Baby dust to you !

Rollercoaster of Emotions

So We did our second IUI a few weeks ago and had the Beta test (its the blood test that tells you if you are prego or not) we were so sure it worked this time. We meditated, changed our diet, cut out soy (which is tough for us Vegheads) and M did acupuncture and massage galore. Our Beta on Friday revealed a Big Fat Negative. M was so so so BUMMED to the Max and well its a super emotional time for both of us.
Oddly, we always have a trip planned right after we have the results. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

It was an unsuccessful one again.. and only our second try. We know better, we know that it takes 3-6 trys on average for a successful IUI. But we want it so so so bad not to mention the savings if it were to happen sooner than later would be nice.

So now we wait again for the cycle to continue or until we can't take it anymore or our money runs out...This is difficult for me because there is no definitive that says, ok now switch donors or now try this way or now stop trying. We are gonna keep trying !!!!

While we were in LA we stopped off at the sperm bank we are using and we begged them to let us pick up our Donor sperm. It saves us a little money on shipping (every bit counts) so we drove from CA to NV with our most precious Cargo. So fricken comical this experience is we are either balling our eyes out or ready to kill each other or laughing hysterically at Dinner for NO NO NO apparent reason or singing to our DONOR SPERM.. AFTERALL THIS JUST MAY BE 1/2 OUR KID!


Today M and I are Celebrating our 3 year Domestic Partnership so we are excited that we have this huge tank and are hoping it will have conception mojo !

Its a crazy ride for 2 moms trying !

Still waiting. I am trying not to be so Focused on trying to Conceive as I think I may be thinking about it to much. Like a watch pot never boils.
M goes in for blood work this AM ... Same routine different Day. I am being and thinking positive ! M feels great and she is now adjusted to all her medicine.

We will be headed out this afternoon to So Cal. M has a work meeting and then we have a wedding on Sunday ! That should be fun- We really miss Cali a lot.

I am still doing a ton of reading- which is surprising to me as I dont like to read much.

I will say that the Reproductive Endocrinologist we see said it was a good thing we cu out Soy from our diets during this process. Damn, it been a bitch to figure out what to eat being a vegetarian and not eating soy is a difficult task Of course we are making do.

Time Change sucks!

I know its been a while since we changed our clockes but damn it really screwed/ screws me up ! I am just not with it - could also be cause of this ear thing i have gong on. Infection cleared up but I hear the fluid in side my ear. it is extremely annoying and very headache-is but as my lovely grandmother says - "I'm not complaining" and actually I am not... occasionally I will mention something to M but usually not and my Dr. advised I give it a while to correct on its own ... Well MOFO its been a month if not more.

Been super busy getting stuff ready for the wedding we are attending this coming weekend. Nextime I am not going to be so forthcoming in offering my services. People just seem so unappreciative these days and it really throws me. I have spent a few cents on this project in which i volunteered myself and they offered to pay me but I am not sure what to do ... DO I just say aww it was nothing and still get a gift or do I gift them the paper good my services and ink ? I dunno? I'm too DAMN nice!

Lastly, I really get annoyed with people who say they are "POOR' and make excuses and such and then low and behold the so POOR people are going on vacations .. or Buy a big house or a new car ?? Makes no sense to me. Especially when I check my account almost everyday and determine if I wanna spend money on Gasoline for my car or save the money and go out to eat and using what coupons I can and sadly even asking company brands to send me a free coupon ! I dont get it and it really annoys me .. and yet I am the one who is offering the bum on the street my leftovers or a bag of food for his/hers dogs that looks like it has not eaten in a great while! CHUM CHANGE ... instead of tipping people at the counters where there need not be a tip jar... i give that 50cents or dollar to someone who really needs it !

Just my rant for the day !

Thursdays Escape me

another Late blog my apologies.

I am not sure what the deal is but Thursday seem to escape me. On Thursdays I dont wake up as early as I do the other days. Weird.

So M went to the acupuncturist again . This time she had to see a new one a more authentic one if you will by my standards. Why authentic you ask, well she is Japanese for one and not native to USA or so it seems with her very think Japanese accent. The other Acupuncturist was all American a Jewish vegetarian at that kinda hookey mookey as far as I am concerned but I never met her in person just via Website. Hey, now I did not judge a book by its cover ... or in this case a woman on her website but I base my opinions on M's interactions with her and M's report on how her experience went.

So the Acupuncturist taught her some Tsai chi I am sure I spelled that wrong .. and talked to her about Meditation ans such. Blood work show all levels good and progressing.

So See you on Tuesday !